By Lea Ann Golden
It was your typical day at the Creature Academy of the Performing Arts. Well, really it was not “day” but night, because if classes were held in the day, the vampires wouldn’t be able to attend. Miss Griffin could tell without looking at the clock that it was getting close to lunchtime. The students were restless and some of them had already closed their books. They no longer seemed interested in the discussion, although she could never really tell if the zombies were interested or not because they always had a vacant stare. The class was fictional novels and the book they were currently reading, “Going Rogue” by Sarah Palin, had stirred up the appetites of several of the students, and she could hear the loud rumbling of their stomachs, particularly the werewolves. The zombies, who fed mostly on brains, appeared to be unaffected.
“Class, before you leave for the cafeteria, remember – your book report on magical spells is due tomorrow. I won’t accept any late assignments.” Miss Griffin had no sooner got the last word out before the gong went off, signaling the end of fourth segment and the beginning of lunch segment. The administrators had learned early on that using the word “segment” was a necessity because if they referred to the different classes as “periods” it caused the vampires to become restless and thirsty.
“Goodbye, class. File out of the classroom in an orderly manner, please.” The ghosts were always the first to disappear from class, mostly because they were invisible to begin with. They took advantage of this, and always skipped out early. The zombies were usually the last to leave, slowly dragging their bum legs out into the hallway, arms outstretched and mumbling “brains, brains, I need brains!” Every day Miss Griffin would say to them “don’t worry, dears, you know brains are on the menu.” But it never stopped them from their chant. On Tuesdays, which was today, there would always be a cauldron full of eye of newt stew and the witches were excited about that. They zoomed out of the classroom in a hurry. She watched as the goblins and elves left the room, jostling amongst themselves. The usual dining room fare for the wee folk would be undergoing a change. Budget cuts were necessary, as in all schools, and either Rice Krispies or Fudge Stripe cookies were going to be dropped from the menu. This had intensified the rivalry between Snap, Crackle and Pop and their arch enemies, the Keebler elves. Miss Griffin was nervous about what would happen when the cut took place. As she watched the last zombie stagger from the room, she pulled out her lunch bag and stuck a big marshmallow on the end of her pencil. She put her dragon tail up on the desk, enjoying the silence of the empty classroom. She heaved a big sigh of relieve, causing a fiery flame to blast out of her nostrils, toasting the marshmallow to perfection.