Romeo No Longer Loves Juliet

By Adina Pelle

Romeo no longer loves Juliet! 

The news traveled round the city with lightning speed, as the Montague’s and Capulet’s prepared for a real sentimental disaster…

Romeo’s reasons were not yet very clear for the Shakespearian community, but it seemed as his romantic feelings have suddenly disappeared, amidst the background of a contradictory discussion at the local Mall.   

With her delicate and sensitive ego injured Juliet locked herself in her room and threatened with imminent suicide by swallowing a large amount of barbiturates from the family drug cabinet…

First, second and third degree relatives assembled ad-hoc to address potential suicide, and started throwing gravel towards the disappointed girl’s window begging her to come back to reality…

Television representatives and their effervescent crews sprang parabolic antennas and installed them on the nearby football field.

Dozens of young, ambitious reporters dressed in the latest fashion were rehearsing for a potential live transmission of the spectacular teenage crisis…

Romeo and Juliet brake up took up the first pages of all tabloids and organized talk shows.

On the subject, the envoy to Papua New Guinea (where the intent was to initiate a contract for the acquisition of new territory hosting a life refuge for orphan turtles) was cancelled and the president gave a prime time speech pleading for the legendary lovers to return to their original feelings for each other…

In addition, theaters closed their doors for the season, actors were left jobless forced to migrate to foreign countries, where they made a living by picking up strawberries.

Women protested vehemently against male insensitivity and threatened to become lesbians.

In return, men declared women cranky and impossible, went ahead and legislated misogyny and got as drunk as fiddlers by the end of the day.

In minutes happy families divorced…

The entire administration submitted its resignation, the president did not ask for another term and the country’s economy entered an unprecedented financial crisis…

In all this chaos, Romeo casually walked by Juliet’s window one starry night smiling cocky and propitious to her while waving his hand holding two tickets to latest Batman blockbuster…

The depressed girl opened the window, poured an appreciable amount of tears, and fell into his arms ignoring the war and chaos going on.

The flame of passion between Romeo and Juliet rekindled instantly, and the two sealed reconciliation with a long kiss unforeseen even by the major political advisers and sex experts.